See, we've extended an open invitation to Dani Shay for her to come join the OI.o staff for two basic reasons:
#1: She's a talented writer and musician and we believe that a regular column titled "How Justin Beiber F*cked My Life Sideways" would be a lovely experiment in gross miscommunication.
#2: We want to do her. With our naughty bits. And then write a column called "How Dani Shay F*cked My Life Sideways" only without any of the miscommunication from earlier.
The problem this poses -- wanting to get naked with Dani Shay -- is that she really does bear a striking resemblance to Justin Beiber. This makes the writing staff of Orlando Insider very, very confused. Sexually.
In their pants.
We're gonna go see if we can't sort any of this out by drowning our eyeballs in a gig or two of super straight, hetero porn. Dani, if you're reading this: we love you, you got totally gypped when you were voted off AGT for trying to be original, and we want you to work here.
The Writing Staff of Orlando Insider