[Ed. -- On the other hand, if the kid's anything like us, he probably wakes up and says, "Hey, what's that burning sensation in my urethra?"]
Thus was the case with a young boy from Port Orange who woke up one morning only to find himself "missing". And by "missing" we mean he donned the orange garb, slipped on some sandals, and began walking The Great Journey.
Alas, this world (and Port Orange) is not one for allowing such free-spirited pursuit of passion and dreams. To that end, the staff here at orlandoinsider.org spent several hours trying to figure out what exactly you call it when your dream of becoming a monk is blocked by The Man. Monk-Blocked? Denialentenment? Monk Spunked?
Either way, on April 25th of this year, the police summarily cock-monk-blunked the young man from ever achieving his enlightened goals. The boy was found with his maternal grandmother (whom we imagine was a wise elder and highly proficient in a variety of lethal fighting styles) and was swiftly removed before he could learn the fine art of water bending or how to use the Force to lift rocks and subsequently save the world from certain, empirical doom.
The boy monk avatar is currently being held in the custody of the Florida Department of Children and Families. In fact, right this minute, the would-be savior of mankind is likely teaching the other children that there IS NO MOTHERF*CKING SPOON, BITCHES!