The stuff of our dreams (literally, dreams of living in a world of legos -- it’s practically the happiest dream we’ve ever had) has a theme park in our back yard and come to find out that Legoland hates grown-ups.
Again, not that we claim to be particularly grown up (at least, not anywhere where it doesn’t matter, dig?) but we can’t help but take offense to the fact that Legoland only cares about the 2-12 year old demographic. Because if you’re 13 you can’t enjoy a day filled with sheer joy and rapture that only Legos can bring?
That’s what we were told right before we had to donate our massive 100-pound collection of assorted Legos to Goodwill when we turned 16. It was either the Legos or a driver’s license and in retrospect, we should have stuck with the Legos.
Look, we’re not sitting here saying that Legoland is run by a bunch of pedophiles (seriously, we’re not!) but instead of pushing the fact that they’re blatantly targeting 2-12 year olds, why not say that they’re marketing to the kid in everybody?
THE TWO YEAR OLDS OF TODAY ARE NOT THE ADULT LEGO FANS THAT MADE LEGOLAND POSSIBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
And please don’t call the cops when we give you a hard time about leaving the park. We seriously just love Legos that much. You’re the weirdos trying to lure kids into your magical Lego wonderland. Weirdos.
The Lego-Obsessed Orlando Insider Writing Staff