Okay, yes, we exaggerate. It's probably closer to sixty-nine seconds. Bow-chicka-BAM.
The truth is that even though we love what we do, we don't get paid very much to do it (read: we don't get paid AT ALL). As such, there are many things we can't afford and our general quality of life is about a half-step above a nightly ramen noodle binge-fest.
That being said, whenever we get depressed around the office, we generally take a moment to clear our heads of all the stresses in our lives and enjoy a brief moment of bliss. And not the chocolatey kind from those dumb commercials.
Nope, we're talking about masturbation.
You don't need anything to do it; you don't need to rely on another person; it doesn't take long; and it's a great way to take control over something -- especially when you feel like nothing is within your grasp. (Get it?!)
The long and short of it is that busting a nut releases endorphins and makes you feel good. What bad thing has ever happened when people are feeling good? In fact, we should probably feel good more often, which is why we here at Orlando Insider support daily masturbation.
Or hourly, as the case may be.
And remember: you're not just jerking off for yourself. Your mood has an impact on the people around you, so the happier you are, the better things will be in your circle.
To put it another way: if you're having a bad day at work, jerk off.
The Under-Paid-But-Overly-Blissed Orlando Insider Writing Staff